[ thanks for being exactly like how she wants you to be, scaramouche. this is why she's comfortable around him. he doesn't care about her, and he's more tired than annoying in front of her these days. ]
Some cycles can be broken but not nearly enough.
[ and even then, sometimes the broken cycle turns into a different and worse cycle... few become better. evil grandmother willow... that's so valid.
there's a swirl of bitterness and resentment in response to his last words before it fades abruptly. ]
For a natural average lifespan, it's what's expected, and some people are fine with that. Others do try to seek ways to live longer. There are many stories about humans trying to attain immortality.
[He is so tired. He's annoying often but hilariously the more he tolerates a person the less annoying he gets. He just starts philosophizing like a grandpa instead and letting the ennui take the wheel.
Few become better! This is why he is so tired. He's seen it happen so many times, it's so exhausting. There is no rest for anyone in this bitchass world.]
Not nearly enough. [A little echo back, a little shrug. He glances over at the swirl of bitterness and resentment, arching a brow at the quick way it fades.]
True enough. The hubris of humanity often leads them down foolish and pointless paths. I imagine they would be even less tolerable in the worlds where they aren't clearly outranked and outperformed by others.
[ there is no rest and that's why he wants sweet ego death. ]
It might be intolerable for you. [ thinks about how he'll be cursed to be mark from accounting. ] But I think that even if there are more pointless struggles in those kinds of worlds, there is something to gain without the constant death caused by power struggles.
[ of the literal and fantastical kind.
roxana would love a day in the mundane modern world. she wants to be from a slice-of-life series because she's so tired of her fantasy life right now. ]
[IT'S TRUE!!!! He can't have a nap so he wants the big nap.]
Oh? [Curious.] Well, I suppose there's a measure of peace to it.
[To not having to worry about death caused by power struggles of the literal and fantastical kind... Roxana really did not win the isekai roulette. She could have been in something cute...]
It might be too boring for you. I know it'd be boring to a number of people here.
[ she craves normalcy even if it's something she'll never have anymore. some of it she can't help because she was born into it, but a good chunk of it is because of decisions she made, so she's not blameless. ]
[ roxana does. if you can't have the systems and structures without the people, then is it really a system or structure if it has nothing to support or perpetuate? ]
You wanted to learn and improve for others so long ago, didn't you? There must be some people in your long history that didn't end up disappointing you.
[ she doesn't necessarily think one person could outweigh everything else for scaramouche, but roxana doesn't think anyone can be so untouched.
she's not an emotional fortress, but even she's soft, more times than she'd like to admit. ]
[She's more soft than she'd like to admit but he is still living in the reality where every person he'd come to hold kindly betrayed him in some way so he just gave up and never made connections again.]
Unless we're talking about strangers or passers-by whom I had to interact with very lightly and loosely, and thus never gave much room to do anything that would be disappointing.
Put simply, true ascension to something beyond godhood also means shedding personhood. I was hardly one to begin with, so it makes little difference to me.
[GOODBYE EMOTIONS GOODBYE BAD PERSONALITY GOODBYE PAINFUL MEMORIES HE'LL MISS NONE OF YOU.]
there is a vibe of faint understanding. not about the ascending past godhood part. the other parts. she has her thoughts about that kind of goal and for him, but she thinks if he wants to assign that kind of pretentious reasoning to just wanting to not exist as a person, sure. he can. what's it to her? ]
Is that what you killed for, or was that just a bonus?
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Some cycles can be broken but not nearly enough.
[ and even then, sometimes the broken cycle turns into a different and worse cycle... few become better. evil grandmother willow... that's so valid.
there's a swirl of bitterness and resentment in response to his last words before it fades abruptly. ]
For a natural average lifespan, it's what's expected, and some people are fine with that. Others do try to seek ways to live longer. There are many stories about humans trying to attain immortality.
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Few become better! This is why he is so tired. He's seen it happen so many times, it's so exhausting. There is no rest for anyone in this bitchass world.]
Not nearly enough. [A little echo back, a little shrug. He glances over at the swirl of bitterness and resentment, arching a brow at the quick way it fades.]
True enough. The hubris of humanity often leads them down foolish and pointless paths. I imagine they would be even less tolerable in the worlds where they aren't clearly outranked and outperformed by others.
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It might be intolerable for you. [ thinks about how he'll be cursed to be mark from accounting. ] But I think that even if there are more pointless struggles in those kinds of worlds, there is something to gain without the constant death caused by power struggles.
[ of the literal and fantastical kind.
roxana would love a day in the mundane modern world. she wants to be from a slice-of-life series because she's so tired of her fantasy life right now. ]
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Oh? [Curious.] Well, I suppose there's a measure of peace to it.
[To not having to worry about death caused by power struggles of the literal and fantastical kind... Roxana really did not win the isekai roulette. She could have been in something cute...]
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[ she craves normalcy even if it's something she'll never have anymore. some of it she can't help because she was born into it, but a good chunk of it is because of decisions she made, so she's not blameless. ]
Even if they're still full of cycles we hate.
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I don't hate peace, but unchanging peace would be stagnant, true enough.
[He just is adverse to things everlasting because his mother is wrong about everything ever.]
At this rate, it would actually surprise me to see a world with no pointless, useless, aggravating cycles.
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It seems to be the natural result of people living.
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The problem does tend to lie within the people and not within the structures and systems they build.
[The structures and systems are flawed because of who built them.]
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[ roxana does. if you can't have the systems and structures without the people, then is it really a system or structure if it has nothing to support or perpetuate? ]
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[Of course he thinks there's no fixing that. He's been around 500+ years and there has been no fixing humanity, nor in all the time before him.]
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[ but he does have 500 years on her. ]
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[JUST SAYS IT. Being alive even a few decades is enough to make a person nihilistic, let alone centuries.]
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[What sort of thing could POSSIBLY MAKE THE TERRIBLE WORLD MORE POSITIVE.]
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[ she doesn't necessarily think one person could outweigh everything else for scaramouche, but roxana doesn't think anyone can be so untouched.
she's not an emotional fortress, but even she's soft, more times than she'd like to admit. ]
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[She's more soft than she'd like to admit but he is still living in the reality where every person he'd come to hold kindly betrayed him in some way so he just gave up and never made connections again.]
Unless we're talking about strangers or passers-by whom I had to interact with very lightly and loosely, and thus never gave much room to do anything that would be disappointing.
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No, people who you barely interact with don't count. I don't think you're so untouchable, though. You wouldn't be this way, if you were.
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Comparatively, I'd say I am. [Less than he'd like, but more than many.] Though it hardly matters.
[On account of his encroaching ego death.]
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[ she doesn't know he seeks ego death. ]
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I don't intend to remain in this form for much longer. It won't matter to what I become next.
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[GOODBYE EMOTIONS GOODBYE BAD PERSONALITY GOODBYE PAINFUL MEMORIES HE'LL MISS NONE OF YOU.]
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there is a vibe of faint understanding. not about the ascending past godhood part. the other parts. she has her thoughts about that kind of goal and for him, but she thinks if he wants to assign that kind of pretentious reasoning to just wanting to not exist as a person, sure. he can. what's it to her? ]
Is that what you killed for, or was that just a bonus?
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