disingenuous | scaramouche catchall

It might be too boring for you. I know it'd be boring to a number of people here.

[ she craves normalcy even if it's something she'll never have anymore. some of it she can't help because she was born into it, but a good chunk of it is because of decisions she made, so she's not blameless. ]

Even if they're still full of cycles we hate.

[LISTEN. Sometimes you're born into bad circumstances and you make wild decisions so you don't die young it's fine...]

I don't hate peace, but unchanging peace would be stagnant, true enough.

[He just is adverse to things everlasting because his mother is wrong about everything ever.]

At this rate, it would actually surprise me to see a world with no pointless, useless, aggravating cycles.

[ his mother issues... ei was wrong about that, though. true. ]

It seems to be the natural result of people living.

[HIS MOTHER ISSUES........ Sometimes he is right but he's so annoying about it.]

The problem does tend to lie within the people and not within the structures and systems they build.

[The structures and systems are flawed because of who built them.]

You don't think they go hand-in-hand?

[ roxana does. if you can't have the systems and structures without the people, then is it really a system or structure if it has nothing to support or perpetuate? ]

In the sense that you can't have the structures without the people, sure. But the problems are still inherent in the people.

I won't disagree there. It does stem from people. I don't know if there's any fixing that.

My stance likely wouldn't be a surprise.

[Of course he thinks there's no fixing that. He's been around 500+ years and there has been no fixing humanity, nor in all the time before him.]

Your views may be even more negative than mine.

[ but he does have 500 years on her. ]

I've lived much longer.

[JUST SAYS IT. Being alive even a few decades is enough to make a person nihilistic, let alone centuries.]

Nothing has made you view things more positively?

What sort of answer would you be expecting to hear?

[What sort of thing could POSSIBLY MAKE THE TERRIBLE WORLD MORE POSITIVE.]

You wanted to learn and improve for others so long ago, didn't you? There must be some people in your long history that didn't end up disappointing you.

[ she doesn't necessarily think one person could outweigh everything else for scaramouche, but roxana doesn't think anyone can be so untouched.

she's not an emotional fortress, but even she's soft, more times than she'd like to admit. ]

There is no one like that.

[She's more soft than she'd like to admit but he is still living in the reality where every person he'd come to hold kindly betrayed him in some way so he just gave up and never made connections again.]

Unless we're talking about strangers or passers-by whom I had to interact with very lightly and loosely, and thus never gave much room to do anything that would be disappointing.

[ he really went insane over three people. that makes him even softer than she is, if you think about it. ]

No, people who you barely interact with don't count. I don't think you're so untouchable, though. You wouldn't be this way, if you were.

[LISTEN. Maybe so. He really did say three strikes you're out to the whole of humanity.]

Comparatively, I'd say I am. [Less than he'd like, but more than many.] Though it hardly matters.

[On account of his encroaching ego death.]

Why do you say it doesn't matter?

[ she doesn't know he seeks ego death. ]

[HE WILL SAY SO BECAUSE HE DOESN'T THINK IT'S A BIG DEAL.]

I don't intend to remain in this form for much longer. It won't matter to what I become next.

What does that mean, exactly?

Put simply, true ascension to something beyond godhood also means shedding personhood. I was hardly one to begin with, so it makes little difference to me.

[GOODBYE EMOTIONS GOODBYE BAD PERSONALITY GOODBYE PAINFUL MEMORIES HE'LL MISS NONE OF YOU.]

[ checks the week

there is a vibe of faint understanding. not about the ascending past godhood part. the other parts. she has her thoughts about that kind of goal and for him, but she thinks if he wants to assign that kind of pretentious reasoning to just wanting to not exist as a person, sure. he can. what's it to her? ]

Is that what you killed for, or was that just a bonus?

[Not the faint understanding. Sometimes you just have thoughts about existence. At least he does have other goals; the ego death just happens to be a much-welcomed side effect.]

That was a favor.

[HELP!]

[ well. there's no surprise, but it's still like.... she has to double check something. ]

For him?

No. I find that man a nuisance. I'd rather he not be on this side at all.

[HE OWES SO MUCH MORE THAN WHAT HE WAS GIVEN!!!!! HE HATES SEO!!!!!]

[ she really was about to question his tastes. ]

Then, for whom?

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nascens - 2025-07-24 06:59 (UTC) - Expand

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disingenuous - 2025-07-24 23:23 (UTC) - Expand