You wanted to learn and improve for others so long ago, didn't you? There must be some people in your long history that didn't end up disappointing you.
[ she doesn't necessarily think one person could outweigh everything else for scaramouche, but roxana doesn't think anyone can be so untouched.
she's not an emotional fortress, but even she's soft, more times than she'd like to admit. ]
[She's more soft than she'd like to admit but he is still living in the reality where every person he'd come to hold kindly betrayed him in some way so he just gave up and never made connections again.]
Unless we're talking about strangers or passers-by whom I had to interact with very lightly and loosely, and thus never gave much room to do anything that would be disappointing.
Put simply, true ascension to something beyond godhood also means shedding personhood. I was hardly one to begin with, so it makes little difference to me.
[GOODBYE EMOTIONS GOODBYE BAD PERSONALITY GOODBYE PAINFUL MEMORIES HE'LL MISS NONE OF YOU.]
there is a vibe of faint understanding. not about the ascending past godhood part. the other parts. she has her thoughts about that kind of goal and for him, but she thinks if he wants to assign that kind of pretentious reasoning to just wanting to not exist as a person, sure. he can. what's it to her? ]
Is that what you killed for, or was that just a bonus?
[Not the faint understanding. Sometimes you just have thoughts about existence. At least he does have other goals; the ego death just happens to be a much-welcomed side effect.]
[ she will lapse into a silence then since she doesn't care that much and
well
she can't leave since you put them in the cage and they've been talking long enough, but she can leave the conversation and we can set this thread to rest for endgame upon us. ]
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[ but he does have 500 years on her. ]
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[JUST SAYS IT. Being alive even a few decades is enough to make a person nihilistic, let alone centuries.]
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[What sort of thing could POSSIBLY MAKE THE TERRIBLE WORLD MORE POSITIVE.]
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[ she doesn't necessarily think one person could outweigh everything else for scaramouche, but roxana doesn't think anyone can be so untouched.
she's not an emotional fortress, but even she's soft, more times than she'd like to admit. ]
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[She's more soft than she'd like to admit but he is still living in the reality where every person he'd come to hold kindly betrayed him in some way so he just gave up and never made connections again.]
Unless we're talking about strangers or passers-by whom I had to interact with very lightly and loosely, and thus never gave much room to do anything that would be disappointing.
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No, people who you barely interact with don't count. I don't think you're so untouchable, though. You wouldn't be this way, if you were.
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Comparatively, I'd say I am. [Less than he'd like, but more than many.] Though it hardly matters.
[On account of his encroaching ego death.]
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[ she doesn't know he seeks ego death. ]
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I don't intend to remain in this form for much longer. It won't matter to what I become next.
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[GOODBYE EMOTIONS GOODBYE BAD PERSONALITY GOODBYE PAINFUL MEMORIES HE'LL MISS NONE OF YOU.]
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there is a vibe of faint understanding. not about the ascending past godhood part. the other parts. she has her thoughts about that kind of goal and for him, but she thinks if he wants to assign that kind of pretentious reasoning to just wanting to not exist as a person, sure. he can. what's it to her? ]
Is that what you killed for, or was that just a bonus?
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That was a favor.
[HELP!]
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For him?
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[HE OWES SO MUCH MORE THAN WHAT HE WAS GIVEN!!!!! HE HATES SEO!!!!!]
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Then, for whom?
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[He just needs it to be known that he did NOT DO IT FOR SEO fuck that guy (he already killed him) fuck that guy-]
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[ she will lapse into a silence then since she doesn't care that much and
well
she can't leave since you put them in the cage and they've been talking long enough, but she can leave the conversation and we can set this thread to rest for endgame upon us. ]