vax catchall

[disingenuous]

time to learn about another critrole campaign

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week 3, sunday

[disingenuous]

[ she can come to the medbay. the way she would have come to check on vax after the execution with visible concern if ended with him and percy being saved, but now she's being slow but methodical as she collects bandages for possible future injuries and ignoring him while he gets the healing he deserves.

i'm sorry she sucks. ]

[daggering]

[ roxana is so fucking valid

anyway she's allowed to be sucky he's used to this. vax frowns when he spots her from where he's in bed, and calls out, quietly - ] ...Roxana.

[disingenuous]

[ She turns to look at him with bandages in hand, nothing but some kind of neutrality on her face. ]

I hope you spent the proper amount of time in the pod, Vax'ildan.

[ She's making an attempt. ]

[daggering]

I'm okay.

[ this is not really true but also he's a DND character so getting the shit beaten out of him by someone with several magic guns is honestly just a tuesday. also, he's feeling regenerated enough having seen vex'ahlia that it feels easier to do everything so.

he frowns, brows pinching together. ]

Pod doesn't really fix everything, though, if you know what I mean. [ eeeemotional damage ] You wanna sit, for a bit? Take a break.

[disingenuous]

[ There isn't a ripple of emotion anywhere to be seen, but she does not want to take a seat. She stays standing where she is, her exhaustion bone deep because I rolled a nat1 in the wrong chat. ]

... I do know what you mean.

[ Anyone could tell how personal that fight between Vax and Percy got. ]

Sitting doesn't do much for that either.

[daggering]

[ girl you look like you're dying on your feet ]

...No, but company helps, sometimes. It'd probably help me.

[disingenuous]

[ yeah, a spring breeze will have her on her knees.

she is still prickly right now, but.... okay. fine. she's not so prickly that she is completely unreasonable. she takes a seat on a bed, and it's almost like she collapses onto it because she's so tired. ]

.... Is this better?

[daggering]

[ ma'am.

well, this compromise works. he does shift to make sure she doesn't like, collapse over and just fucking dies, but once she's steady, pulls back a bit. ]

Think so. [ for the both of us.

... ] Long fucking day, huh?

[disingenuous]

... It would have been nice to end with the blessing that befell you and Percy.

[ .... ]

It's good that you didn't have to lose him.

[ She is trying so hard to be as she usually is. ]

[daggering]

[ baby. baby girl.

... his shoulders slump a little, and he reaches up and scrubs his face. ]

...Wish it had been that way for Malik, too. I tried asking the Residents, but they didn't know what the fuck happened, either.

[disingenuous]

[ She's silent for a moment. ]

I am not sure... whether it'd be better to think it was inevitable, or if it could have been stopped, if we tried harder yesterday, if he was guilty.

What would we would do if we found both in time?

[ It doesn't do much good to dwell in what ifs, and Roxana doesn't usually, but her emotional exhaustion has taken its toll.

Her hands are folded in her lap, and her fingers curl into fists. ]

It's nothing we will ever know, but... it would hurt a little to know if today could have ended differently.

[daggering]

[ oh, roxana. vax listens - the same question's been on his mind, too. what would they have done? voted out malik? killed him? killed percy? the idea makes his stomach twist. ]

...'s the worst part. [ quiet. ] The not knowing. Think it's easy to get caught up in that. 's all I was thinking, yesterday. What if I'd noticed sooner, you know? What if I'd been able to get up on Thursday, stop Percy?

[ but he couldn't. this place takes away their control, as vax learned the first week, and it hasn't gotten any better. it makes him angry, makes him lost. even if he's feeling more centered, from the events that occurred today...

... it's still just wrong. ]

Better or worse, that you had to be the one to do it?

[disingenuous]

[ It's still just wrong. ]

We only have what happened.

[ She's quiet, quieter than usual. How quickly people are manipulated, how quickly people are made to kill, how quickly people are killed here—it's another page in her terrible book.

There is no hesitation in her answer to his question. ]

It's better. I have had enough of others killing people I care about.

[ It may not be right, and it may not be healthy, but it's sincere. ]