roxana agrece (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
disingenuous) wrote2022-02-14 07:55 pm
disingenuous) wrote2022-02-14 07:55 pmvax catchall
time to learn about another critrole campaign
disingenuous) wrote2022-02-14 07:55 pm
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she is still prickly right now, but.... okay. fine. she's not so prickly that she is completely unreasonable. she takes a seat on a bed, and it's almost like she collapses onto it because she's so tired. ]
.... Is this better?
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well, this compromise works. he does shift to make sure she doesn't like, collapse over and just fucking dies, but once she's steady, pulls back a bit. ]
Think so. [ for the both of us.
... ] Long fucking day, huh?
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[ .... ]
It's good that you didn't have to lose him.
[ She is trying so hard to be as she usually is. ]
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... his shoulders slump a little, and he reaches up and scrubs his face. ]
...Wish it had been that way for Malik, too. I tried asking the Residents, but they didn't know what the fuck happened, either.
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I am not sure... whether it'd be better to think it was inevitable, or if it could have been stopped, if we tried harder yesterday, if he was guilty.
What would we would do if we found both in time?
[ It doesn't do much good to dwell in what ifs, and Roxana doesn't usually, but her emotional exhaustion has taken its toll.
Her hands are folded in her lap, and her fingers curl into fists. ]
It's nothing we will ever know, but... it would hurt a little to know if today could have ended differently.
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...'s the worst part. [ quiet. ] The not knowing. Think it's easy to get caught up in that. 's all I was thinking, yesterday. What if I'd noticed sooner, you know? What if I'd been able to get up on Thursday, stop Percy?
[ but he couldn't. this place takes away their control, as vax learned the first week, and it hasn't gotten any better. it makes him angry, makes him lost. even if he's feeling more centered, from the events that occurred today...
... it's still just wrong. ]
Better or worse, that you had to be the one to do it?
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We only have what happened.
[ She's quiet, quieter than usual. How quickly people are manipulated, how quickly people are made to kill, how quickly people are killed here—it's another page in her terrible book.
There is no hesitation in her answer to his question. ]
It's better. I have had enough of others killing people I care about.
[ It may not be right, and it may not be healthy, but it's sincere. ]