clarte catchall

[disingenuous]

Comments

[disingenuous]

.... I killed Garou.

[ this is the one time she doesn't understand them almost immediately. ]

[georeject]

[their expression is... well, it's not quite neutral.

but it's not angry either. it's just tired, and remorseful.]

Yes, I was there at trial.

[said almost dryly.]

... Was either of you refracting?

[disingenuous]

[ They can't see, so she doesn't take as much trouble to hide any of her expressions or body language.

She looks away. ]

What do you think? Do you think I'd be able to tell you, if I were?

[georeject]

[they will find a wall to slump against.]

Others did, so your response makes me believe you are deliberately trying to avoid giving me an answer.

[disingenuous]

[ She smiles even though they can't fucking see it. I hate it here. ]

Do you know me to be any other way? I know you know when I do this, just as I know when you do it.

[georeject]

[this was a great week to go blind.]

... No, I think I would be more surprised if you were forthcoming with answers. [...] I'm sorry we couldn't do more for you.

[disingenuous]

.... Clarte, stop making yourself uncomfortable and come over to me for however long you plan to stay here. I'm on a bed.

[ ... ]

What do you think you could do for me?

[georeject]

Um... okay.

[they will carefully walk over.]

I don't know.

[disingenuous]

[ When they get close enough, she will reach out and gently guide them to sit before letting go. ]

What do you want for me?

[ Let's start with that. ]

[georeject]

[they'll sit down, looking vaguely in her direction.]

... Much like how you wished for a better life for me, I'd hoped for one for you. That there could be a way for you to live that isn't you killing whoever ends up against you, as I know you'll try tomorrow.

[disingenuous]

[ Her laughter is almost genuine, and almost as if it's part of genuine surprise as well.

(There's a small sting, a pang where she remembers the deaths she caused, the ones who had to die so she could survive. Almost each and every one are ones she wished she could have avoided, but at the end of the day, she has always made her choice: to survive. ]

... You may be one of the few who've seen a clearer image of me.

[ And not what she presents, not what she lets people see. ]

I won't hesitate tomorrow.

[ She, at least, won't try to lie or be avoidant about this. ]

[georeject]

[...]

I volunteered, though I know I'm not the only one. I'm prepared, and I know she is as well.

[watch it be, like, itsuki.]

[disingenuous]

[ if it were itsuki, i would laugh. ]

All right. I have my guesses who you mean. It will be what it will be.

[georeject]

[go easy on the twink

they nod.]

... Is there anything else you'd rather talk about, tonight?

[disingenuous]

[ i would try to go easy, but roxana would never.

there's a small pause. ]

I expected you to be angrier with me.

[georeject]

[...]

I would be angry if you told me that, completely of your own volition, you decided to just butcher him for no particular reason, but you don't strike me as so impulsive or reckless with your own life.

[disingenuous]

[ .... ]

I never kill for no reason.

[ She can allow that truth. Sometimes, it's out of her control and not of her choice, but she never chooses to kill for no reason. ]

[georeject]

... Then, I don't have much of a reason to make room in my heart for anger.

[it's crushing, to lose garou. but roxana's fate hurts too.]

[disingenuous]

[ she said sorry more than once to clarte on friday. she was hesitant when she normally wouldn't be. the telecasting i was trying to give a blind clarte.

she doesn't think clarte would like the reason, but she isn't going to mention it. ]

... You don't need much reason to be angry.

[georeject]

[I THOUGHT SHE WAS BEING SUSPICIOUSLY NICE]

Do you want me to be?

[disingenuous]

[ i love you jan ]

... I've only ever said that I want you to be you, haven't I?

[georeject]

... Then, I'm not angry. I suppose I'm more... sad, than anything.

[disingenuous]

[ why are you still awake ]

... All right. I suppose I am the reason for part of it.

[georeject]

[:pensive:]

Yes. Also because you're my friend, and I hate to have to grieve for you as well.

[disingenuous]

[ go the fuck to sleep.

She shifts on the bed, and she can't look at them. She's so grateful Clarte is blind right now. There is something about that statement that makes her uncomfortable, uneasy, and it also makes her hate herself a little more. ]

... Thank you, Clarte.