[ stop this is just making him kind of depressed even if he's giving zero tells of that. ]
I suppose so. When I went to see Lucas—[ hm. maybe not that story. ] I get it. And to answer your question, I'm not sure. Making things better for other people is usually tied to making them better for myself.
I know. But I also don't really know what else to do these days. [ easily admits that. ] The things I try to do for myself blow up in my face, like, 90% of the time anyway.
[ of course they would and they would stun everyone with their beauty on top of it. hate it out here. ]
Pretty sure it's a little of both. I'm sure there are things I could fight for, but I can read the signs it isn't what other people want from me. Or they're choices made out of my hands that no matter what I say or do, they're already done. [ ... a shrug, and a hand comes up to fiddle with the ring hanging from a chain around his neck. ]
How far do you think a person should push to get something they want?
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Is this the conversation you really want to have when it's the last time we'll get to talk for a while?
[ he will indulge her because he is a sucker that way, but he also figures this is a rabbit hole she may only be talking about in passing. ]
no subject
Showing concern is often something someone does in their last moments, isn't it?
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I suppose so. When I went to see Lucas—[ hm. maybe not that story. ] I get it. And to answer your question, I'm not sure. Making things better for other people is usually tied to making them better for myself.
no subject
she doesn't know who lucas is or that he's blond or that she made him more depressed. ]
I can understand that, but tying most, if not all, of your worth in other people's happiness and well-being isn't balanced.
[ or the most healthy, but she won't say that right now. ]
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I know. But I also don't really know what else to do these days. [ easily admits that. ] The things I try to do for myself blow up in my face, like, 90% of the time anyway.
no subject
That's either misfortune, or you're not being selfish enough.
[ she's sure there are likely other circumstances, but what else can she say without details? ]
no subject
Pretty sure it's a little of both. I'm sure there are things I could fight for, but I can read the signs it isn't what other people want from me. Or they're choices made out of my hands that no matter what I say or do, they're already done. [ ... a shrug, and a hand comes up to fiddle with the ring hanging from a chain around his neck. ]
How far do you think a person should push to get something they want?