Of course not. The entire point of living sometimes feels like struggling to get past it. [ thanks, jonas. ] But you're right, easier said than done. Maybe that's why I find you a little impressive that way.
Living can be like trying to reach to and then past a certain point or goal. It's only because I've reached a state of willing to do a number of things to reach some goals.
Even when the goal posts move? Yeah. That's the life experience and it all depends what you're willing to do that lays out the path.
[ she's implied enough for him to get what she's saying and he has plenty of questions, but. ]
I imagine then that reaching that point also means having to ignore any potential regrets or second-guesses. Those traits are the admirable ones, but... to me, this also suggests that you know the things you're willing to do are considered wrong by other people. [ he doesn't say it so much as a judgment but more as a prompt. ]
[ roxana has a lot of regrets, but she'd die before letting it show. she offers him a small smile although it has a slight edge to it. ]
The way my family operates is in opposition—or if not in opposition, at least a little counter to those who are more morally upright or believe in concepts like fairness and justice.
[ she isn't the type of person who shrugs, but her voice adopts an it is what it is kind of tone. ]
If I wanted to survive in my family, that's how I have to be.
[ one day he's going to ask her too many questions and she may very well kill him. for now, he seems to take this into consideration, watching her carefully and calculating the right way to say this. ]
... you don't have to answer this, but... what is it that's keeping you with your family then? [ it's not so much that he believes roxana would want to be morally upright or fair, but he thinks about their vague dabblings in conversations about survival and wonders if it would maybe be easier to survive outside of her family or in it. ]
[ he interprets this as her father's abusive basically and has forced her to comply in ways she didn't want to as a child and now she can't go backwards. ]
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[ even if there isn't usually satisfaction. ]
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What if you let go of the wrong thing though? Like maybe at the time you think it's best to do that, but then you find out maybe you shouldn't have.
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Living can be like trying to reach to and then past a certain point or goal. It's only because I've reached a state of willing to do a number of things to reach some goals.
[ ... ]
Some of it isn't that impressive.
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[ she's implied enough for him to get what she's saying and he has plenty of questions, but. ]
I imagine then that reaching that point also means having to ignore any potential regrets or second-guesses. Those traits are the admirable ones, but... to me, this also suggests that you know the things you're willing to do are considered wrong by other people. [ he doesn't say it so much as a judgment but more as a prompt. ]
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The way my family operates is in opposition—or if not in opposition, at least a little counter to those who are more morally upright or believe in concepts like fairness and justice.
[ she isn't the type of person who shrugs, but her voice adopts an it is what it is kind of tone. ]
If I wanted to survive in my family, that's how I have to be.
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... you don't have to answer this, but... what is it that's keeping you with your family then? [ it's not so much that he believes roxana would want to be morally upright or fair, but he thinks about their vague dabblings in conversations about survival and wonders if it would maybe be easier to survive outside of her family or in it. ]
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My father will dispose of anyone who doesn't fit the image he wants. There's no way I could have fought back or escaped as a young child.
[ back when she still had the heart to not conform. ]
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And as an adult? Are you still trapped?