I just have other things I need to focus on, I think.
[ so. not entirely forgiving, but childe is hilariously lower on his list than figuring out other problems. but he nods. ]
Yeah. Um. We were sort of... trapped, I guess? In a reality tear that caught us in a timeloop. It took me a while to really notice, and I don't even know how many times we've looped by now. There are whole timelines I don't remember, or events that've happened that some people remember and I don't. For all I know, Homophonic was a part of one of them. It's... really confusing, sometimes, because it feels like I remember certain things but I can't always tell if it's because it's really something that happened or it just feels familiar. But that's not on anybody else, that's just...
[ it's messy because alex remembers like almost everything, kazuki remembers their history and jonas's own knowledge is lacking, so it's a problem. but he waves a hand because it's not roxana's problem to know about jonas and his loops. ]
Anyway. I think it depends what the ends are. Why are you doing what you're doing? Who are you doing it for? Stuff like that. I don't think a blanket statement like that works when it comes to survival.
Does it wear on you to know you're missing something? Or does it frighten you?
[ she has all her memories from her past life, but those are fading the longer she lives her current life. it's something she tries not to think too hard about. ]
It comes back to the circumstances. You try to judge individually, case-by-case, but it's not always possible to find out all the details for someone.
Is it believable if I say I really don't know yet? I go back and forth on how I feel about that a lot.
[ sometimes he thinks it's exhausting to know he's experienced a lot more than he remembers and even not remembering the exact memories, he can feel the results. and sometimes it's horrifying to think about what important things he might be missing and what context he lacks for who he is. ]
There are always going to be people you don't know and can't get to know whether because of your own means or theirs. You still try, but it won't always be perfect.
It is. It's not like every feeling or thought can be settled and firm, and it's not as if we aren't going through our lives still.
[ there's something that she can't decipher or discern about herself yet either. she may be decisive about much, and her experiences have led her to a certain point, but there's at least one thing that's lost to her still. ]
[ he decides not to point out he's technically dead because he is very obviously still going through these things, and even he can't deny that. ]
Not to mention even when you think you're settled, anything can come along and change it anyway.
[ though... he can't deny that either. ]
I've had enough people give up on me. I'm not going to be that person for other people. [ so. yes. ] And it's why I want to try to understand everything before condemning someone or whatever.
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no subject
[ so. not entirely forgiving, but childe is hilariously lower on his list than figuring out other problems. but he nods. ]
Yeah. Um. We were sort of... trapped, I guess? In a reality tear that caught us in a timeloop. It took me a while to really notice, and I don't even know how many times we've looped by now. There are whole timelines I don't remember, or events that've happened that some people remember and I don't. For all I know, Homophonic was a part of one of them. It's... really confusing, sometimes, because it feels like I remember certain things but I can't always tell if it's because it's really something that happened or it just feels familiar. But that's not on anybody else, that's just...
[ it's messy because alex remembers like almost everything, kazuki remembers their history and jonas's own knowledge is lacking, so it's a problem. but he waves a hand because it's not roxana's problem to know about jonas and his loops. ]
Anyway. I think it depends what the ends are. Why are you doing what you're doing? Who are you doing it for? Stuff like that. I don't think a blanket statement like that works when it comes to survival.
no subject
[ she has all her memories from her past life, but those are fading the longer she lives her current life. it's something she tries not to think too hard about. ]
It comes back to the circumstances. You try to judge individually, case-by-case, but it's not always possible to find out all the details for someone.
no subject
Is it believable if I say I really don't know yet? I go back and forth on how I feel about that a lot.
[ sometimes he thinks it's exhausting to know he's experienced a lot more than he remembers and even not remembering the exact memories, he can feel the results. and sometimes it's horrifying to think about what important things he might be missing and what context he lacks for who he is. ]
There are always going to be people you don't know and can't get to know whether because of your own means or theirs. You still try, but it won't always be perfect.
no subject
[ there's something that she can't decipher or discern about herself yet either. she may be decisive about much, and her experiences have led her to a certain point, but there's at least one thing that's lost to her still. ]
You're the type to try and keep trying.
no subject
Not to mention even when you think you're settled, anything can come along and change it anyway.
[ though... he can't deny that either. ]
I've had enough people give up on me. I'm not going to be that person for other people. [ so. yes. ] And it's why I want to try to understand everything before condemning someone or whatever.
no subject
We're all shaped by our experiences. We often try to right the ways we were wronged.
[ for better or worse. ]
But at least the way you're doing it is meant to help.
no subject
... currently though, my experience is telling me tomorrow's still going to be a pain in the ass, no matter how much we may want to right wrongs.