[ he will eventually come around to the bench, and instead of sitting on it he will sit on the ground in front of her where simba is as well. he doesn't want to be presumptuous and crowd her, but he figures he should at least be facing her.
so okay. colors and overbalancing and apparently blowing the fuck up like boothill just did. it sounds a little similar to heaven, but... ]
... it had to be something quantifiable. Like something that can be applied to multiple people, but not every single person. And it had to be something that was a big part of you. So... certain traits, maybe? [ he's thinking out loud here. ] When people were possessed in Heaven, it was always an amplification of the sins that weighed heaviest on them. Their regrets were the things that always came up the strongest in their executions, too.
[ it's physical affection week. she would allow it. in fact, she holds out her hand to him. ]
Close. Traits could be a way to describe it. There were some groups that I thought all the people within them were quite different from each other, but there could have some core traits tying them together.
[ the marines were the ones that took her the longest to pinpoint. ]
Sins in Heaven must be even heavier than normal. They did stress balance in the Prism.
[ this is fair. it just means he'll hold her hand then for a second before he does haul himself up onto the bench next to her. ]
Close enough that your place seemed to think they fit together. [ to be fair, the marines also took a long time to realize what they had in common. ] There are certain pieces of a person that can't be changed, I think, even if on the surface they appear a lot different.
But you're right. With what was happening in Heaven, everyone there was encouraged to think about their regrets and past sins, things they wanted to atone for and things they would like to improve about themselves. It just made it really easy for that entity to prey on those feelings and make them stronger once they were possessed. Balance is... you can't be too afraid to live but you can't be too afraid to die either. I think it's one of those things where you have to learn what your own boundaries are and still try to push past those where you can without overloading.
[ ... ]
Sounds a little stressful though. Not knowing what that balance is until you're brushing up against it.
It sounds like whatever entity was causing all your murders took advantage of why people were there at all. As if they knew more than I would expect.
[ but maybe she is making too many inferences since she doesn't know what heaven is like. ]
I don't know if what happened to Boothill is exactly the same as what I had to witness, but if it was.... it'll be easy to see him overloading.
It wasn't pretty when it got too far.
[ although boothill is emotional in general so it's possible it won't be as easy to pinpoint, but no one can miss turning into a lisa frank creature. ]
You could always ask her yourself. I don't think she thought too far ahead of it outside of just wanting to do it.
[ which is all he says on that for now. ]
The good and bad thing is we'll find out tomorrow. Executions are always pretty hard to watch, but I'm curious which pattern it will follow. But I don't expect anyone else to want to watch or for it to be easy to deal with. [ ... ] I am sorry for the reminder though, for what it's worth.
Oh? I didn't know she was included in that. Was that part of why Childe was there for five minutes?
[ she isn't expecting any kind of answer, just looking to see how he responds. ]
It's all right. I should have considered this possibility. That's what's frustrating me more than seeing Boothill talk of colors. If there's a rainbow of colors that erupt from him, that won't be too far outside of expectations.
Yeah, he came by to rescue her because I caught her and had her contained for about a week. Not that I knew it was her at the time.
[ he has kind of given up on being cagey about some things, apparently. ]
The possibility of it happening? Of course it's frustrating. You already did your time the first time, and also? That sounds... like a lot. [ happy pride... wait is this why we found a pride flag. was that a hint to chroma or just general anna and nat bullshit, the world will never know. ]
Considering we're getting a better view of what's coming for us, I don't see a reason not to be forthright when someone asks me a question. [ this is not entirely true. but in this instance, yes. ] She'll likely avoid all of them if you dig too personal, but at the same time she'll likely agree with whatever you tell her your impression is because she doesn't care enough about arguing against it.
[ which is annoying. ]
I'd really like for that not to be the case, but you and I both know just because we want something doesn't mean we'll get it. If this is what's happening, we have... what, eleven places we're all from? That's a lot of options.
[ it was definitely likely for happy pride because gay elves but Listen. ]
Some of them may have similar outcomes or things that happened. Like how the possession came into play, or similar team mechanics. It's one of those things we're going to have to maybe start figuring out to see if we can get ahead of the game a little. If that'll even help us.
It'll at least get us to have an understanding of how all the pieces fit together even if we can't escape it. They say understanding is half the battle.
[ how far that will get them is another question. ]
If it'll get us to solve the murders a little quicker, that's more than nothing.
I was thinking maybe it might help for everyone on our team, at least, to compare notes about where we came from. Things that happened, experiences that might match up, things like that. Like, not quite a team meeting, but sort of?
I can only hope this won't happen again. Chroma elements, I mean. But it can't hurt to know what else we might be missing. Things can show up in little ways without us knowing. Like... the jigsaw puzzle today. That's something we saw a lot of in our trials in Heaven.
They progressively got more helpful, I think. They weren't always puzzles like that though. Sometimes they were word puzzles or other brainteasers? Just an extra hint.
Not long at all, if they're all close and if they're the type to be more attached to people than they are to what's "right" or "wrong." Knowing that we can all come back doesn't make it as difficult a choice.
I would hate to be a bearer of bad news. [ and so he won't. this is also not serious. ]
That's the added element that makes the whole thing a wildcard. What stops us from throwing somebody else under the bus just because we don't like them as much? What steers people into doing what's "right" if it'll save someone they care about? For all we know, one of the milestones we need to hit is scapegoating someone else entirely.
[ ... ]
So what about you? For someone who doesn't have prior attachments, what do you think you would choose in the end? If you had to.
If it's happened in someone's game, they might want to see it again. Everyone has their own moral compass, and they'll choose what's right or wrong to them. I'd choose who I care about because that's what's right to me.
[ even if others won't consider it the moral choice. ]
I'm a selfish person. I won't hide that.
[ she might be cagey about so many other things, but she'll show this aspect easily. ]
It can be a sticky situation, especially when it comes down to a case where maybe killing them is actually what's best from them. If something's lingering around them, or they need to be healed that way. I know for us, it was better to kill the possessed no matter who they were so that they could heal fully. I didn't want to see their souls permanently damaged. Caring is one of those funny things though.
[ but this answer doesn't shock him either. it's just another piece of who she is. ]
Should I take this as my cue to try and be on your good side?
If their death is the only solution to "cure" them of what made pushed them to murder in the first place, that could be considered saving them, too. It'd push them to solve the murders instead of avoiding it to cover them... if they cared for the person to return to themselves over than wanting to keep them, no matter what. Sending people to be executed wasn't the only way for the Prism.
[ it's a matter of possessiveness, and it's a sanity check. ]
Should you? Would you want to stay, no matter what you're like?
[ he's about to elaborate on some things about heaven, but that catches his attention a little more. ]
... what else existed in the Prism then? What was it actually like there?
[ and why were there colors? but he shrugs a bit to that question. ]
I don't think of it so much as staying on someone's good side or avoiding their bad. But if you're asking if I would like to keep talking to you like this and maybe consider you someone whose company I enjoy, then yes. Despite our eventually obvious differences in thinking that are bound to come up.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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so okay. colors and overbalancing and apparently blowing the fuck up like boothill just did. it sounds a little similar to heaven, but... ]
... it had to be something quantifiable. Like something that can be applied to multiple people, but not every single person. And it had to be something that was a big part of you. So... certain traits, maybe? [ he's thinking out loud here. ] When people were possessed in Heaven, it was always an amplification of the sins that weighed heaviest on them. Their regrets were the things that always came up the strongest in their executions, too.
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Close. Traits could be a way to describe it. There were some groups that I thought all the people within them were quite different from each other, but there could have some core traits tying them together.
[ the marines were the ones that took her the longest to pinpoint. ]
Sins in Heaven must be even heavier than normal. They did stress balance in the Prism.
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Close enough that your place seemed to think they fit together. [ to be fair, the marines also took a long time to realize what they had in common. ] There are certain pieces of a person that can't be changed, I think, even if on the surface they appear a lot different.
But you're right. With what was happening in Heaven, everyone there was encouraged to think about their regrets and past sins, things they wanted to atone for and things they would like to improve about themselves. It just made it really easy for that entity to prey on those feelings and make them stronger once they were possessed. Balance is... you can't be too afraid to live but you can't be too afraid to die either. I think it's one of those things where you have to learn what your own boundaries are and still try to push past those where you can without overloading.
[ ... ]
Sounds a little stressful though. Not knowing what that balance is until you're brushing up against it.
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[ but maybe she is making too many inferences since she doesn't know what heaven is like. ]
I don't know if what happened to Boothill is exactly the same as what I had to witness, but if it was.... it'll be easy to see him overloading.
It wasn't pretty when it got too far.
[ although boothill is emotional in general so it's possible it won't be as easy to pinpoint, but no one can miss turning into a lisa frank creature. ]
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You could always ask her yourself. I don't think she thought too far ahead of it outside of just wanting to do it.
[ which is all he says on that for now. ]
The good and bad thing is we'll find out tomorrow. Executions are always pretty hard to watch, but I'm curious which pattern it will follow. But I don't expect anyone else to want to watch or for it to be easy to deal with. [ ... ] I am sorry for the reminder though, for what it's worth.
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[ she isn't expecting any kind of answer, just looking to see how he responds. ]
It's all right. I should have considered this possibility. That's what's frustrating me more than seeing Boothill talk of colors. If there's a rainbow of colors that erupt from him, that won't be too far outside of expectations.
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[ he has kind of given up on being cagey about some things, apparently. ]
The possibility of it happening? Of course it's frustrating. You already did your time the first time, and also? That sounds... like a lot. [ happy pride... wait is this why we found a pride flag. was that a hint to chroma or just general anna and nat bullshit, the world will never know. ]
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[ her voice indicates that she expects alex to avoid most of them. ]
We might all relive what we've gone through in more ways than one. I'd expect to see sins make a reappearance now.
[ oh my god i thought it was for happy pride..... essek is gay but it could be both. ]
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[ which is annoying. ]
I'd really like for that not to be the case, but you and I both know just because we want something doesn't mean we'll get it. If this is what's happening, we have... what, eleven places we're all from? That's a lot of options.
[ it was definitely likely for happy pride because gay elves but Listen. ]
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[ roxana at least acknowledges she's cagey, and then goes, so what? ]
It is a lot, but we don't have enough weeks to cycle through all of them unless they choose to double up. To be iconic?
[ that's not to touch on incentives. and i do think it could be gay pride and chroma both. it'd be inspired. ]
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Some of them may have similar outcomes or things that happened. Like how the possession came into play, or similar team mechanics. It's one of those things we're going to have to maybe start figuring out to see if we can get ahead of the game a little. If that'll even help us.
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[ how far that will get them is another question. ]
If it'll get us to solve the murders a little quicker, that's more than nothing.
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I was thinking maybe it might help for everyone on our team, at least, to compare notes about where we came from. Things that happened, experiences that might match up, things like that. Like, not quite a team meeting, but sort of?
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I can only hope this won't happen again. Chroma elements, I mean. But it can't hurt to know what else we might be missing. Things can show up in little ways without us knowing. Like... the jigsaw puzzle today. That's something we saw a lot of in our trials in Heaven.
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[ she is undecided about how helpful today's puzzle was. ]
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[ not as nice to any murderer who doesn't want to be caught. ]
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[ hm... ]
How long do you think it's going to take for people to start being unwilling to solve cases because they're covering for their friends?
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[ she is so unserious. ]
Not long at all, if they're all close and if they're the type to be more attached to people than they are to what's "right" or "wrong." Knowing that we can all come back doesn't make it as difficult a choice.
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That's the added element that makes the whole thing a wildcard. What stops us from throwing somebody else under the bus just because we don't like them as much? What steers people into doing what's "right" if it'll save someone they care about? For all we know, one of the milestones we need to hit is scapegoating someone else entirely.
[ ... ]
So what about you? For someone who doesn't have prior attachments, what do you think you would choose in the end? If you had to.
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[ even if others won't consider it the moral choice. ]
I'm a selfish person. I won't hide that.
[ she might be cagey about so many other things, but she'll show this aspect easily. ]
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It can be a sticky situation, especially when it comes down to a case where maybe killing them is actually what's best from them. If something's lingering around them, or they need to be healed that way. I know for us, it was better to kill the possessed no matter who they were so that they could heal fully. I didn't want to see their souls permanently damaged. Caring is one of those funny things though.
[ but this answer doesn't shock him either. it's just another piece of who she is. ]
Should I take this as my cue to try and be on your good side?
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[ it's a matter of possessiveness, and it's a sanity check. ]
Should you? Would you want to stay, no matter what you're like?
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... what else existed in the Prism then? What was it actually like there?
[ and why were there colors? but he shrugs a bit to that question. ]
I don't think of it so much as staying on someone's good side or avoiding their bad. But if you're asking if I would like to keep talking to you like this and maybe consider you someone whose company I enjoy, then yes. Despite our eventually obvious differences in thinking that are bound to come up.
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