[ relief floods into him immediately. the vice grip of anger and unrest, wrapped like a hot iron around his heart, finally eases up. the static around boothill flashes and flickers in smaller spots, at a faster pace, but his eyes are on those her delicate fingers in his hand.
whether or not it truly happened, there are memories of a week like this one where roxana is with him. they are friends, and they would hold hands or she would hold his arm or they would sit side by side and they talked and observed. they felt so benign at the time, but without them, this moment might not feel as intimate as it does.
his fingers are cold iron, soaked in blood, but they still curl around hers gently, a careful thumb pressing to her knuckle. he looks at her, blinking away the fog and static in his head. there are pinks and blues and violets around him as he examines her quietly. ]
I can't ask ya for more.
[ he keeps his hold loose. she has every right to slip her hand away from his. ]
But with how I remember you... I'd be lyin' if I said I didn't want to. I sure as hell do.
[ roxana keeps her hands gloved in public and around others out of habit. it's a necessity at home where she's turned herself poisonous enough that while a touch won't harm right away, enough exposure could.
she allows this much from him for now. she can read between the lines, but she remembers that keychain of his, remembers what he said about the name. she has long since trained herself out of having any compunction for most things. ]
[ a little bit of hope floats to the surface. there are more blips of agate around him. (wasn't he supposed to stop wanting things bigger than what he could keep in his hand? haven't there been enough precious things ripped away from him already?) ]
[ watching their hands. he doesn't look at her for recognition that he knows he won't find. there's more static. memories and faces float in and out of his consciousness, but the desire stays with him, refracting and amplifying. ]
A lot of you is still a mystery to me, Roxana. A beautiful one for sure. You come into the room and everythin' else is just set dressin' around you. You open your mouth and all goes quiet. But the thing that gets me most... To me, you and I share common ground on the most important thing: gettin' vengeance for everything taken from us. We both got blood on our hands, and we ain't afraid to dirty 'em up even more if it means the right folks get what they deserve.
[ his grip tightens just a little, unless she pulls away from him by this point. ]
I'd pull the trigger for you in a heartbeat if you asked. I won't ask ya for more 'cause I don't think you feel the way I do.
[ even in chroma. maybe she cared for him in some way, but did she ever want him back? even he can't answer that. ]
Unless you'd be willin' to answer a dyin' man's wish for one kiss.
[ there is something very dangerous in what he says, in how he knows this information about her, in how he seems to glitch with the memories he shouldn't have.
in this life that only he seems to know.
she doesn't pull away. even if she knows about the keychain hanging off his belt, even if she knows that he has someone he is loyal to and is likely waiting for him, she doesn't think this interaction will have much meaning once this is all over for either of them.
there is something to be said of devotion, though, of being willing to do anything for her. the way to sink through the cracks of her broken and empty heart are to not push too far but also be unwilling to let go, and at the end of the day. it becomes too easy for her to choose to be manipulative.
it is not kindness or pity that moves her anymore, and she takes a step closer to the bars, close enough for all of her to be within reach, hand still in his. her other hand reaches through the bars to trace the edge of his jaw with the lightest of touches. ]
I'll grant this one wish. For your honesty.
[ even if she can't see any of it as true, not like this, not with the colors flashing wildly and his memories the way they are. ]
[ he doesn't register her moving in towards the bars. the glitching and static sounds are too strong, brain addled with the previous night's murder and the day's events, how it felt like an eternity when he only remembers glimpses of it. he remembers seeking her out in the crowd after his conviction and seeing only red.
the pulse of his human heart leaps with that light, warm touch against his face. he lifts his gaze to hers, searching it for any sign—of what? affection? discomfort? even now he can't read her, and not for lack of wanting to. he already said it before: he knows she doesn't feel the same way he does. her touching his face and giving permission is more than enough.
he gives her a silent moment to change her mind. then his free hand reaches and settles on her arm just beneath her shoulder, slipping his fingers through perfect strands of gold hair. he cranes his head between the bars, closes his eyes, and takes his wish—a long but simple kiss, if she'll allow it to last a little. ]
[ she doesn't let it last too long. it may not have been for pure reasons, but this is generous of her. she still can't help but think of how poisonous she is, even if her poison has no potency here and even if he is more metal and circuitry than flesh and blood.
she steps back after a could seconds. ]
Remember what you asked for if everything comes back to you wherever you're going.
[ it was nice while it lasted. the colors keep flashing, all agate. his visible eye blinks open, half lidded. if she's still holding his hand, he brushes his thumb against her knuckle. if she doesn't, he holds the bars with both hands. ]
I ain't ever gonna forget you, other side or otherwise. [ he doesn't, by the way. ] Thank you for doin' what you did.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
whether or not it truly happened, there are memories of a week like this one where roxana is with him. they are friends, and they would hold hands or she would hold his arm or they would sit side by side and they talked and observed. they felt so benign at the time, but without them, this moment might not feel as intimate as it does.
his fingers are cold iron, soaked in blood, but they still curl around hers gently, a careful thumb pressing to her knuckle. he looks at her, blinking away the fog and static in his head. there are pinks and blues and violets around him as he examines her quietly. ]
I can't ask ya for more.
[ he keeps his hold loose. she has every right to slip her hand away from his. ]
But with how I remember you... I'd be lyin' if I said I didn't want to. I sure as hell do.
no subject
she allows this much from him for now. she can read between the lines, but she remembers that keychain of his, remembers what he said about the name. she has long since trained herself out of having any compunction for most things. ]
Why is that?
no subject
...Why do I want more, or why won't I ask for it?
no subject
Both.
no subject
A lot of you is still a mystery to me, Roxana. A beautiful one for sure. You come into the room and everythin' else is just set dressin' around you. You open your mouth and all goes quiet. But the thing that gets me most... To me, you and I share common ground on the most important thing: gettin' vengeance for everything taken from us. We both got blood on our hands, and we ain't afraid to dirty 'em up even more if it means the right folks get what they deserve.
[ his grip tightens just a little, unless she pulls away from him by this point. ]
I'd pull the trigger for you in a heartbeat if you asked. I won't ask ya for more 'cause I don't think you feel the way I do.
[ even in chroma. maybe she cared for him in some way, but did she ever want him back? even he can't answer that. ]
Unless you'd be willin' to answer a dyin' man's wish for one kiss.
no subject
in this life that only he seems to know.
she doesn't pull away. even if she knows about the keychain hanging off his belt, even if she knows that he has someone he is loyal to and is likely waiting for him, she doesn't think this interaction will have much meaning once this is all over for either of them.
there is something to be said of devotion, though, of being willing to do anything for her. the way to sink through the cracks of her broken and empty heart are to not push too far but also be unwilling to let go, and at the end of the day. it becomes too easy for her to choose to be manipulative.
it is not kindness or pity that moves her anymore, and she takes a step closer to the bars, close enough for all of her to be within reach, hand still in his. her other hand reaches through the bars to trace the edge of his jaw with the lightest of touches. ]
I'll grant this one wish. For your honesty.
[ even if she can't see any of it as true, not like this, not with the colors flashing wildly and his memories the way they are. ]
no subject
the pulse of his human heart leaps with that light, warm touch against his face. he lifts his gaze to hers, searching it for any sign—of what? affection? discomfort? even now he can't read her, and not for lack of wanting to. he already said it before: he knows she doesn't feel the same way he does. her touching his face and giving permission is more than enough.
he gives her a silent moment to change her mind. then his free hand reaches and settles on her arm just beneath her shoulder, slipping his fingers through perfect strands of gold hair. he cranes his head between the bars, closes his eyes, and takes his wish—a long but simple kiss, if she'll allow it to last a little. ]
no subject
she steps back after a could seconds. ]
Remember what you asked for if everything comes back to you wherever you're going.
no subject
I ain't ever gonna forget you, other side or otherwise. [ he doesn't, by the way. ] Thank you for doin' what you did.