disingenuous | strohl catchall

[ it's more serious than she thought. she came to see the state of him more than anything, and once he looks away, she maneuvers around the glass to stand next to the hallway wall. she maintains some distance. ]

Why do you feel like it's your fault?

I swore I'd protect her.

[ twice. twice, now. it doesn't even occur to him why she's asking - he's unaware of the tattoo of the moment, falling deep into this hole of self loathing and despair, of grief and sorrow. it's more anguish and undirected fury than anything particular - devastation. she's somewhere else, at some other airport. he knows this. it doesn't make knowing that vi cried into his shoulder on thursday and told him he made her feel safe any less stark. ]

Twice, twice she put her faith in me, even after I failed her the first time! And what happened? The same damn thing, the same conditions -- everything!

[ she can understand where his thoughts and emotions are coming from even though she doesn't him too well yet. there is much that he wears on his sleeves. ]

It is a bit of the point of this whole place. For you to feel the same frustrations, the same failures, the same grief. I don't think she believes in you less for any of this.

[ if i had a nickel for every time a beautiful and dangerous woman said i wore my heart on my sleeve.png. well she didn't say it but its in the meta so it still counts

anyway!! cycles, alex said, echoing somewhere in the back of his mind. his grip tightens on his sword, and he makes another noise, angry, frustrated. failing. grief. ]

I tried to bring her home with me, and we failed at that. Reunited, and I've failed again. [ some of the heat in his voice finally comes to a simmer, and the question he asks this time is plaintive - voice cracking on the last word. frustration, grief. failure, failure, failure. ] What sort of a person am I, if I can't protect the people I swear to? That the death of those I care for is reduced down to an achievement.

No better or worse than the rest of us. A person stuck in this horrible airport, having to live with a farce of a setup.

[ she does not hold the same grief and anger that strohl does. she does not have as many of the connections or attachments, but they've all been through this before. does it mute any emotions or make it easier? no.

but even if protection is near impossible... ]

Death cannot be stopped, but you can still bring the people you care about back.

[ that is possible here, at the least. and the distaste for the situation in roxana's voice does help, in its own way, too - like matching fuel on a fire, like solidarity. they're all angry, one way or another.

he finally raises a hand, and scrubs it across his face. tries to force himself to take a deep breath. ]

I want to burn this whole damn place to the ground.

If you talk to Wis'adel, you might be able to make it explode, too.

[ who would go against burning this airport down? not roxana. ]

[ there’s a scoff of a laugh, which is like the closest thing he’s felt to joy today so that’s good. ]

Auditors and all. I’d be glad to show the bastards an achievement.

strohl catchall

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