disingenuous | kashuu catchall

[It's a nice anchor, even though he looks absolutely exhausted. Maybe the earth would be kind enough to do that, except now he's still responsible for all of these water bottles and he's got to find Buzen's missing body and get him back to the saniwa.]

It's still - like... I guess I'm still adjusting to the way these bodies can feel so tired even when you aren't fighting, y'know?

Human bodies can be quite weak and fragile, can't they?

[ There's a faraway quality to her voice as she speaks, but she also reaches over to place a cool hand against his cheek. ]

Don't take on too many burdens alone.

[They can, can't they? He thinks of Buzen's on the table, but closes his eyes to chase the image away.

When she places a hand against his cheek, he turns his head to look toward her, quiet.]

...I don't want anyone else having to deal with stuff either, though, y'know?

[He's supposed to be here to support and defend and protect. As much as he talks about being loved and wants to be fussed over, it's hard for him not to take on too much.]

People can feel the same way about you.

[ She gives him a small smile when he turns to look at her. ]

I don't mind sharing any of your burdens, Kiyomitsu. We may not always be able to see things the same way, but that can also be a benefit.

[ Because as much as she has been used or treated as a tool or weapon, she has always been human. That can never change. ]

Breaking isn't always physical.

[Breaking isn't always physical.

That really just succinctly sums up everything about human feelings that he finds so hard to explain and describe. It is like that - sometimes, it feels like he's breaking again, even when his body is fine, even when his blade is perfect, not a single crack running through.

His free hand rises, where it rests on his chest over his heart. A steady beat, slow and dependable. One of the eight sufferings he was given when he was pulled into the human world.]

...I guess not, huh. [Said on a sigh.] --I don't know if I'll be any good at sharing stuff like that. But - if it's something you're okay with... then I don't mind trying.

[ softly, certainly: ]

You don't need to be good at it, as long as you try.

[ Not everyone can be good with their emotions, not everyone can handle their emotions well, and not everyone can be completely honest about them either.

She does so much to keep certain emotions from rising to the surface herself. ]

I don't mind fumbling along with you.

[There's something about dealing with the complex mess of humanity in his chest that feels just a little less daunting like this. It's reassuring in a way he wouldn't be able to put into words, knowing that it isn't just him. That even ~~vampires~~ humans, with their life-long experience with human hearts, struggle and don't know what to do.

Five beats pass, in that slow and steady way. He nods.]

...Then - we can do our best. It's easier when you have comrades with you, I think, no matter what sort of thing you're facing.

Comrade?

[ She leans over and presses a kiss to the top of his head.

Hearts are heavy and cumbersome things at the worst of times, but they're what propel people forward at the best of times. ]

All right, comrade. Shall we face forward and get you off the ground?

[He would like to stay on the ground and wait for it to consume him, actually, but!! For Roxana his new comrade, who has been kind enough to sit with him and be so gentle, he guesses he can manage. After another second or two, he just sighs, shifting to prop himself upright.]

...Thanks. It feels like I'm doing a lot of that lately.

[Thanking people. That's better than hearing "I'm sorry", though, if nothing else.]

Isn't it good that there is still something you can be grateful for?

[ she's not made for optimism, and she knows that this whole weekend has been absolutely terrible for him, but...

At least he still has the mindset to be able to.

She rises to her feet. ]

[That gets a little smile. He bounces back decently, at least - he knows that one loss won't be enough to do more than leave one extra weight in his chest. It's fine. It's a trade he'd gladly accept, to be able to feel the weight at all.

He'll sigh, pushing himself properly upright a second or two after her and dusting off his clothes.]

That's true. It's a good thing I've got you here for perspective, huh?

kashuu catchall

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