disingenuous | clarte catchall

... And is that where things escalated?

Yes. That's when personal attacks began. Estinien especially suffered.

... I suppose that doesn't surprise me.

[ She shouldn't laugh, but she does smile a little. ]

He came back, barely standing. I think it was more emotional exhaustion.

He carries a lot of ghosts. [...] But he's resilient, I think.

I think it will take more than that to fell him.

I don't doubt it. You as well.

Thank you for your faith in me.

I'm sure it isn't misplaced, since I imagine you want to avoid talking about anything you yourself went through, anyway.

[ She smiles up at them. Yeah, it's fine that they're calling her out. She won't deny it. ]

Are you willing to talk about what you went through?

Simply put, we went through a ritual that spanned over 120 years. It escalated each time we did it, until it fell into the usual patterns for this place.

Where you were put in situations where you had to harm or kill each other?

Yes... well, it was possible to settle things without hurting each other, but I suppose it resulted in some sort of "death" all the same.

What is it to die without dying?

I got Itsuki to stand down, but he still disappeared and ended up in the same realm that those who died did.

[ She's thoughtful. ]

You were able to reach the dead there?

Oh, no. Um... died within our venture, I mean.

[ ? ]

That is what I meant.

[ It's not like she's had much experience with people actually being to reach the dead in any scenario. At home or here. ]

Ah. Well... I guess? It's more that two of us died and we ended up in the same place, with Itsuki there as well. Unfortunately, that left Nogiku alone.

[ is this why nogiku showed up as dead? to lash out? glad she was lms for once ]

Did you manage to reunite before coming back?

No.

[nogiku suffered so much]

... Clarte. How are you?

... I'm okay. Dying isn't a big deal for me.

[that's just how it be, sometimes.]

I made choices I could live with. [...] I just wish I could've done more for everyone, and I'm sorry that I caused Nogiku pain by leaving her behind.

Edited 2022-03-21 00:39 (UTC)

[ She doesn't think they'd feel anything about dying. It is the "I just wish I could've done more for everyone" and how far that extends. ]

That lines up with what I thought. [ Not exactly but enough. ] I just wasn't sure if you were forced to make choices you didn't want to make.

[ That's a running theme. ]

[they shake their head, slowly.]

Largely, there was nothing that couldn't be solved through more pacifistic methods, even if the results weren't exactly what we wanted. We were never actually required to take a life to proceed.

And besides, I wasn't among those made to act against their will.

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